Relationships are hard work, but walking away from someone you once loved can be utterly devastating. It’s easy to know when it’s right for you, but harder to judge when your romance has got to the point of no return. Is it a bad patch, or a bad match?
No-one wants to make the mistake of ending a romance the could have been saved, which means many stays with people they should have dumped ages ago. But how do you know if your relationship could be saved or is doomed for disaster?
While these might not all apply to you and your partner if it’s a less to even a handful, then you could well need to accept that your romance is probably already over.
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1. Your Sex Life Changes
Sex is at the heart of any relationship, and when you’re not connecting in the bedroom, it can be a reflection of bigger issues. Whether you’re avoiding intimacy or just aren’t interested in them sexually anymore, it could be a sign the relationship is on its way out. On the other hand, the end of a relationship can often boost your sex life – basically because one of you knows you don’t have long left together.
2. Things Get Petty
You can’t go a day without a small argument or a sarcastic comment. You go from raised voices every few weeks, to suddenly clashing about things that would never have caused a cross word a few months ago. The way they eat their cereal begins grating on you, or the fact they never wash up becomes a big issue. These petty squabbles could be a way to vent your anger over deeper issues you’re not ready to deal with.
3. They Stop Touching You
This is different to just going off sex, when someone stops being attentive then you know things aren’t right. Tactile behavior is often unconscious and a natural impulse between lovers and when this disappears you know the affection and attraction between you.
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4. You Want To Do Things Without Them
Having separate interests is fine, but when you actively try to do things that you know your partner isn’t interested in, or you exclude them, then it could be a sign you want more than just space. You should want to share your life with your other-half, not hide things from them or keep them away from you.
5. You Know It’s Not Forever
If you can’t see them in your future and are imagining your life without them, then chances are they won’t be around much longer. It’s often a way to mentally prepare yourself for a split and to get used to the idea that they won’t always be around.
6. It’s Just Not Fun Anymore
The honeymoon period has to end, but if life with your partner is all hard work and no fun, then it’s pretty clear you don’t work as a couple anymore. Relationships have their ups and downs, but it shouldn’t be hard just to hang out. If watching TV or even driving together in a car becomes difficult, you may want to reconsider if it’s worth being together.
7. You Don’t Fancy Them
You used to want to rip their clothes off, but now even kissing them makes you feel uncomfortable. It’s not always about sex, but the attraction is still incredibly important and forms the basis of any healthy relationship. You might hope things get better, but sadly it sounds like the spark has just gone and it could be time just to call it a day.
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8. It’s All About Work
Work suddenly becomes more important than your relationship. You begin to arrive early at the office, work late for no reason, and you volunteer to manage that special project no-one wanted to take on. While this sudden interest in your career is a positive one, it could also be a sign you’re avoiding dealing with that other area in your life where things aren’t running so smoothly.
9. You Have Feelings For Someone Else
If one of you starts to get feelings for someone else, it could be a sign you’ve emotionally left the relationship. It’s normal to fancy people even when you’re in a relationship, but developing strong feelings when you’re meant to be with someone else, indicates you’re not committed to your partner.
10. You Lose Confidence
Partners should support one another and keep their self-esteem up when they’re having a bad day. If yours no longer does this, you can begin to feel rejected and lose your confidence. Feeling alone is even harder when you’re meant to be with someone, and that loss of support can be one of the first signs it’s over between you.
11. They Won’t Acknowledge Anything Is Wrong
They refuse to acknowledge there’s a problem when you raise your issues or fears about your relationship and just ignore your pleas to talk. This doesn’t mean they aren’t as aware as you that something isn’t right, they just don’t want to face up to it yet. If they wanted to work things out, they would respond positively to your pleas rather than ignoring them. It could mean they’ve accepted things are over and are waiting for the right time to end it, or for you to dump them first.
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