3 Most Common Complaints Every Man Has About Their Sex Life!

It begins ..

You just started dating this cute girl.  You’re nervous about getting to second base.You just got back from a fun and slightly nerve-wracking date.  Now, you’re both sitting in the car and she’s so close to you.  You feel the silence.  You think, “Should I go for it?”

She’s sitting there waiting.  You think, “She wants to right?”

You lift your hand up to touch her face but at the last second you chicken out and grab her hand.  She holds it tightly.  You take her hand and gently pull her closer.  You place your hand behind her head and lean in for the kiss.

You eventually did!

You’re celebrating your first month together and you feel comfortable around her.  She spends the night in your apartment at least three times a week.  And you’ve definitely fooled around in the car a few times too.

You’re becoming more and more familiar with her body.  You both enjoy having sex and it’s pretty awesome every time.  She’s familiar and still somewhat mysterious.  You love getting to know her and making love to her.  You think, “This is perfect.  This is what love is like”.

Fast Forward – 2 Years Into The Relationship

Now, it’s been two years. You’re about to get married and you’re thinking, “What happened to all the sex?”

Men’s complaints about sex are centered on frequency, variety, and miscommunication.  Funny enough these are actually the same complaints women have.  So, let’s resolve those complaints together.

Courtesy: Women’s Health

Frequency

First on the list is frequency. How many times is too many? How many times is too much? Both of these questions depend on the couple. If your girlfriend is reading Fifty Shades then everyday is pretty much the norm. But that doesn’t hold true in real life. And no guy can be that good in bed right?

While you think that over, let’s go through a scenario.  Taking a line from Fifty Shades of Grey  “It takes two to tango” so when you’re debating about what is too much you’ll have to talk to your partner.

One person in the couple might think three times a week is too much. One might think it’s too little. Many couples have a hard time finding a balance between not enough sex and too much sex.

In these scenarios, you get a lot of “He said, she said” situations. Where “I want to have sex and she doesn’t” or “She wants to do it but I’m not in the mood”.

The “she doesn’t want to have sex” situations are actually the result of misunderstanding and lack of communication. Once you’re married or been together for a while, you grow comfortable with each other. Essentially, you try less.  You don’t work as hard for the relationship anymore. This is where the mistake occurs. Instead of just asking for sex, listen to her.  When she’s tired from work and just doesn’t feel like it. Just talk to her. But instead of tuning her out this time, actually listen to her. Carry on the conversation and when you take the time to listen, she feels more emotionally connected and most likely more willing to do it.

This could also go the other way around. You might come home from work feeling stressed and distracted. She wants to have sex. But you aren’t feeling it.  You finally get it up and before she hits her climax, you already came. She gets frustrated and you’re at a loss.

All three of these scenarios emphasize the importance of communication. By taking the time to listen to each other, you’ll have a happier more fulfilling relationship. Express your concerns and fears to one another. This communication will bring you closer emotionally and could also lead to a more physical intimacy because the two go hand in hand.

Variety

Now that you’ve been together for a few years, plain old vanilla sex just doesn’t cut it anymore. Let’s face it. It’s not as enjoyable as it used to be.

When you’re in bed, you just want to jump right to the punch. But she’s looking for foreplay. After three years together, you thought that ship had sailed.  In an attempt to make her happy, you try foreplay but apparently you’re doing it wrong because she doesn’t seem to respond.

Courtesy: Jar of Quotes

Next time, incorporate some toys or try some new positions. Laurie Watson, a certified sex therapist, recommends having a woman’s knees on the man’s elbows so her hips are up during sex or have her be on top for a change. When she’s on top, she can create a 45-degree angle that will stimulate her clitoris more than when she’s on the bottom. Both these positions give the woman a higher chance of climaxing.

On the other side, when you’re bored with her, you feel like sex is just another chore. You think, “Is this it? I got married for this?” After three years, you’re tired of always initiating the sex.  She’s not doing anything new. You think, “Is she trying anymore?”

After you made love, she asks, “Are you okay? Was that alright?” Instead of saying anything, you just nod and go to sleep. Be honest with yourself and her.  Just tell her that you’re tired of constantly being the one to start it up. You’ve done it for years and its getting old. When you communicate this to her, she’ll make a conscious effort to be the one to get things going and make things fresh again.

Miscommunication

Women see sex as an emotional connection, so they have to be in the mood. For them, emotional connection leads to intimacy. This sometimes comes sparingly, too sparingly for most men’s desire.

For men, sex is a way to express love. In men’s opinions, women are rejecting their ability to love when they refuse to have sex with him. In other words, they see the act of sex as the emotional connection.

These two ways of viewing sex can lead to a great sex life or a frustrating one.  The difference between the two is communication and compromise. Work with one another so you can understand what the other needs and wants in their sex life.

When motherhood begins, men usually see a significant drop in sexual desire. Men have to realize that she’s tired and drained from the day. Plus, her hormones are all messed up after having a baby. Help her out with some of the chores at the house or pick up the kids after school.  Make dinner for a change. When she has less on her plate, you’ll see a difference in her sexual desire. She’ll be able to relax more and actually have some energy in the bedroom.

Remember the importance of communication and compromise in these situations. Sit down and have a chat about each other’s needs. Learn more about each other and make an effort to help each other out. Why sit around and complain to your friends and each other when you can resolve it with a good chat. The only way a relationship can last is with a foundation of understanding, respect, and love for one another. So help each other out, finish the chores early tonight, grab a bottle of wine, and have a good talk.

Who knows the conversation might be stimulating enough to set off a great night.

LIKE PEACE QUARTERS ON FACEBOOK