Attractive, intelligent, kind, and yet still attracting jerks? You’re not the only one. The majority of us seem to attract the worst humanity has to offer. So why is it nice guys and nice gals end up with a jerk of a partner?
You Lack Boundaries
To find the answer you have to discover what it is that jerks find attractive in you. Most, if not all, unreasonable and undesirable partners want someone who is flexible and easily influenced. Are you a pushover or a people pleaser? Where you see yourself as being compromising or agreeable, a selfish partner see as a weakness to exploit.
Don’t get me wrong, compromising is a wonderful skill to have, but you must not compromise when it comes to your boundaries. Doing so gives a selfish person permission to stomp all over you.
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You Fall In Love to Quickly
Love is just wonderful, isn’t it? There’s nothing like the thrill of falling in love so why rush it? Lacking boundaries leaves you open for exploitation. So set up boundaries to protect your heart from growing attached too quickly. You will have time to fall in love later, why fall head over heels after a few dates?
Once you “fall in love” your judgment may be altered. You are much more likely to make excuses for a girlfriend or boyfriend then for a date showing undesirable, rude, and inappropriate behavior.
So, set boundaries physically, emotionally and sexually to avoid unnecessary entanglements that will snare your heart. Give yourself the opportunity and time to evaluate a potential’s mate’s character before getting personal and intimate.
Define your deal breakers beforehand, not after and don’t give him a second chance if he’s blown through a deal breaker. You cannot change them so don’t even go there.
You’re Scared To Be Alone
Loneliness is a bitter pill to swallow, and some would choose anyone rather than spend lonely nights alone. Do you know what is even more unpleasant…a broken heart.
Desperation and loneliness are like an invisible horn you are blowing to attract losers and jerks because, hey, you are an easy target.
Just take a break from the dating game and take some time to process through your fear of being alone. Instead of dating, focus on bettering yourself, finding what it is you enjoy doing, and pursuing your dreams.
You are much more likely to choose a better partner when you are coming from a place of confidence and security rather than desperation and fear.
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You Hide your True feelings and Desires
Ask yourself, are you completely honest about your likes and dislikes when meeting new people? If you find yourself hiding your true opinions or stretching the truth you will not attract the right person.
While you may impress someone by acting like you like the same things they do, you are not being genuine. If you want a genuine partner you must be a genuine partner.
Jerks thrive on control and if you’re not vocal about what you want or don’t want to do they will make the decision for you. Be assertive in your requests and if you see any signs of boundary stomping, take a step back before entering into a relationship.
Someone who is always making decisions for you without your input is displaying a red flag that you cannot ignore.
They Get Their Way All the Time
Does this person always seem to get their way? Jerks will use different and sometimes even covert methods to get their own way. Their favorite methods include sweet talking, pressuring, and guilt tripping you into agreeing.
You Will Attract Mr. Or Mrs. Right…..Just make sure you’re alright first
You do deserve better and you will find the right person so don’t you dare give up. I suggest you take some time to sit down and write out a list of all the people you’ve dated and a summary of their qualities. See if there is a common pattern that emerges or which of the reasons you read above came into play.
Give yourself time for introspection without distractions, time to heal from past hurts, and time to discover who you want to be with and who you want to be yourself.
