Some people are toxic and try to control every aspect of you. They tend to be manipulative and dominant. These toxic people are usually the ones, who like to point out other’s mistakes, but are never able to admit their own. They try to twist the truth and make it look like they are the victims when they are the ones to blame.
There are some ways you can outsmart them. The most important thing is first to understand that you are being manipulated and then comes the part where you say something witty back. Manipulators are usually quite similar and even use the same sentences to bring you down.
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Here are 7 common phrases, that manipulators use and how to answer them logically:
1. “Look what you made me do!”
When someone attacks you with these words and hopes for an apology, just say that you do not have the power to make them do anything they did not want to do. It is their own life and their responsibility. Everyone needs to take responsibility for their actions.
2. “How can you still be mad at me after I bought you that beautiful necklace?”
Well, when they just want to buy your love with things, tell them, that there are some things that money cannot buy. It is love, trust, and forgiveness. These things need to be earned and if the necklace was just a bribe to get you off the hook, then take it back.
3. “Don’t wear that out. Let me check your phone. Who’ve you been texting? It’s not that I don’t trust you – it’s other people.”
The thing is – he does not have to trust other people, but he has to trust you. When he does not, there is no future for the relationship. Make him understand, that he either trusts you or you guys are over.
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4. “I want you to stay home because that is what’s best for our kids. I just want to take care of you.”
Tell him, that it is your life and your decisions. Make him understand, that your children would be much happier with a happy mother. And by doing what you love, you teach them valuable lessons about life and decisions. No one should be pushed into staying home or the opposite – going back to work when you are not ready.
5. “I know you feel strongly about this, but I need you to do it my way. It’s what is best for us.”
The best thing for you as a couple would be to compromise. You cannot control your partner and neither can him. Make him understand, that relationship should be based on mutual respect, so he cannot always have his way, he needs to make compromises.
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6. “If you leave, I will hurt myself.”
If he is threatening you with this kind of words, tell him that you have made your mind and explained him the reasons already. Give him the emergency number (911), and if you know a phycologist, you can give him their number as well.
7. “I know you don’t want kids right now, but let’s try anyway. I just want us to be a family.”
Do not ever let him push you into having kids. If you are not ready, then he needs to respect that. Children do not solve any problems as well, so if he is afraid he is going to lose you, then having children will not make the relationship better. If he truly loves you, he respects your wishes and needs and can wait.
There are other ways a manipulative person can try to take control of you. If you see their pattern of behavior and recognize it, you can stand up for your self and make it stop. For them, it is almost impossible to understand that they did something wrong because they cannot see nor admit their mistakes. If they are not willing to change for you, just move on with your life and find someone, who values and respects you.
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