Losing a loved one is extremely painful, but losing a parent is one of the most painful experiences a person will endure in their lifetime. Every person experiences the loss of a parent differently, but almost every single person who has lost a parent has the same thoughts run through their head after their parent has passed away.
1. When will this get easier?
For the entirety of your life, you have had your parent by your side. If you were lucky enough to have your parent into your adult life, you were able to move from the parent/child relationship status into the friendship/parent/child relationship.
Losing a parent as an adult will feel like you are losing not only a parent, but a friend. And this will be extremely painful. At first things are going to be very hard and you will likely feel as though it will be rough going forever. And while it feels like this will not get easier, it will. And you are not the only person who has thought this after losing a parent.
2. I can’t just call them anymore
In the age of constant communication, the most painful thing you will experience after the funeral has come and gone is the first time you go to call your deceased parent. They will no longer just be a phone call away and this will be excruciating the first time you try to call. And facing this reality that you cannot call them whenever is going to be miserable. Over time the urge to call them will fade away, but that does not mean that it will hurt any less.
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3. I should have done more
Whenever a person passes away, everyone experiences some form of regret after their death. When your parent is gone, you will begin to realize that there was so many things you should have said or done. This is a normal feeling after their loss and you should work to not focus on what you should have done and rather focus on how wonderful they were.
4. How did this happen?
If your parent was taken suddenly or from disease, this can lead to confusion and anger. It is cruel when a child has to watch their parent die of cancer – especially in the younger years of life. Often times when a person dies of cancer, there is a feeling of anger toward the disease and towards life. How is this fair? They were perfectly healthy and lived a great life. No child should have to watch their parent suffer.
5. How am I going to make it?
When a child loses a parent, they will feel as if they are missing a huge part of themselves. And if the child was particularly close with the child, it will feel like life no longer makes sense. Many people who lose their parents have thoughts of defeat after their death and this is perfectly normal. Take time to recognize how strong you are and surround yourself with a strong support system. They will be the ones to help you get through this difficult time.
6. To be happy or not
After losing a parent, it is perfectly normal to feel guilty for finding happiness after their death. They were such a significant part if your life, that it may feel inappropriate to be happy, but that is exactly opposite of what your parent wants for you. In fact, the best thing you can do for yourself is to find something that brings you joy. And this is exactly how your parents would prefer you to move forward with your life.
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7. Why do I feel so sad?
This one is a bit strange because sometimes the most random things will bring up the grief. Over time you will begin to find yourself returning to your “normal” life your parents death, but every now and then something will trigger a deep sadness.
Often when this happens people begin to feel frustrated or concerned that they are taking too long to get over the death, but this is also a perfectly normal reaction. Grief is not something that just disappears overnight and it will continue popping up at random times. When this happens, take time acknowledge the sadness and move forward from that moment.
