Most of us know what we’re looking for when it comes to our ideal partner, but what about what we don’t want?
Everyone has their relationship deal breakers, those red flags that can kill a blossoming romance dead, and usually, they’re non-negotiable. One day you’re exchanging sweet messages and the next they do something that makes you lose interest altogether. Sound familiar?
While most girls have a long list of things they would dump a guy over, it might surprise you to know that guys have the same and some of the things they’re not willing to let go might surprise you.
Here’s a list of some red flags most men will agree with the power to kill a romance.
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1. Your hygiene
We might assume from the pile of unwashed clothes and dirty laundry lying around that guys won’t mind if you lay off the shower for a few days. Well, you would be wrong.
They might take a while to get round to washing their clothes, but they will notice if you don’t do yours and it could even get you dumped. Hygiene can be a huge deal breaker in a relationship, and while they might be a slob when it comes to their cleanliness, they don’t want the same in a girlfriend.
Women will brave their boyfriend’s stink and put up with an untidy home but don’t expect it to work both ways. Body odor, hairy legs, and dirty fingernails are all going to be a deal breaker to a guy as is the state and smell of your bedroom. Bad hygiene isn’t just unpleasant; it’s a huge sexual turn off too.
2. Stuck to your phone
Incessant tweeting, Facebooking, stalking on Instagram or the need to SnapChat every moment of your day can be a huge turn-off. Not only can it make you seem superficial, but it’s also incredibly annoying and a little rude to the person you’re actually with you.
Too concerned with showing off to others only makes you appear insecure and perhaps will make guys less motivated to find out if there’s anything under the surface. Same goes for trying to plaster your relationship all over social media the first chance you get as a guy may start to question if you like them, or just the ability to show off to your friends.
3. That guy friend who is “just a friend.”
Girls are allowed to have male friends, but making a big deal about how they’re nothing more than that can be a huge red flag to a potential boyfriend.
You might think you’re helping your relationship, but it can do quite the opposite. Continually insisting there’s “nothing to be jealous of” can signal a few things to a guy – none of it good. Either you’re trying extra hard to cover something up, like the fact you hooked up once, or you do have feelings for him, or you’re trying to make drama where there isn’t.
Your attitude could also get him to think you’re going to make an issue of his female friendships and betrays a level of insecurity he might not want to deal with. Next time wait until he needs reassurance before giving it because you’re doing yourself no favors.
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4. You don’t get on with his friends
Whether it’s you not liking them or the other way around if you have an issue with his friends the relationship probably won’t last. Complaining about them, trying to stop him hanging out with them or giving him an ultimatum will just get you dumped.
Let’s face it; he’s not going to drop four or five of his closest pals because you said you didn’t like them, after all, you’re the new person in his life so probably the easiest to get rid of. Try to remember that he chose them so who he hangs around with is a significant indication of how he views himself and criticizing them can be seen as an indirect attack on him and his judgment.
All friendship groups are wary when they first meet a friend’s new partner, and it can take a while before you hit it off, so try and reserve your judgment until after a few meetings. Same goes for family, especially his mom – if she doesn’t like you it’s over.
5. Complaining about your ex-boyfriends
Everyone has baggage, but why drag yours into your new relationship? A girl who spends her whole time complaining about her ex either sounds like they aren’t over him or that they have serious issues a new guy might not want to deal with. One or two bad relationships is fine, but four or five might sound like you are the one with the problem.
Same goes for people who blame their behavior on former flames. Playing the victim and using it as an excuse for acting crazy is going to quickly get old for your new guy, who hasn’t done anything wrong.
Your new guy isn’t a therapist, so don’t treat him like one.
6. Rude to wait, staff
Being rude or unnecessarily awkward with wait staff is a huge red flag to most guys. It doesn’t take much to be polite and the fact you’re choosing not to, actually says something about your character and how you treat people in general.
It’s not a good sign if you can’t be friendly to strangers, especially those you might see as below you. Maybe you’re having an off day or feeling too tired to be friendly, but make sure you’ve always got a smile for your waiter – it might save your relationship.
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7. Too clingy
When you first meet someone, it’s not unusual to spend a lot of time with them, but going over board can spell the end of your romance. Texting them all day, every day, asking them who they’re with and what they’re doing is going to get old, quickly.
Everyone needs their independence, including you so if you find yourself getting too attached – take a step back and catch up with those friends you’ve been neglecting. It’s not about playing hard to get; it’s just important to respect boundaries and prove that you can have a life outside your relationship.
Expecting him to give up all his time to you is also another red flag, you need to accept he had a life before you and shouldn’t have to drop everything
8. Too many other men
While you might be taking that he’s dating a few people at the same time, don’t expect him to be. Guys like to think they’re the only one on a girl’s mind and can immediately drop you if they find out there are others on the scene. Same goes for flirting too much.
If he thinks you’re “easy” or too “casual” when it comes to relationships, he can go off you quickly. Remember, harmless flirting might mean nothing to you but, to a guy, it can say that you’re ready to jump into bed with him.
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