9 ‘Hard to Accept’ Reasons Why Your Relationship Did Not Last

The end of a relationship is a painful, upsetting and confusing time and when you’re trying to deal with the grief of a failed romance, we can be guilty of ignoring the cause of the split. A break up involves many emotions, and at a time when you’re usually being ruled by your heart and not your head, it isn’t always easy to understand why you didn’t last. Whether it’s because you’re too heartbroken to accept those cold hard truths, or you’re in denial about the things that went wrong, getting perspective can be the last thing on your mind.

Ironically, being honest about what went wrong in your relationship can be the key to helping you move on and hopefully not make those same mistakes in the future. You might have recently ended something or are still left confused about a romance that finished years ago, but if you’re struggling to pinpoint why you two didn’t work out, these may give you an inkling.

1. It Was All Lust

You had sizzling chemistry and fell head over heels for each other. Unable to be apart, you couldn’t imagine being any happier or spending your life with anyone else. That was until the honeymoon phases ended, you took off the love goggles and realized you didn’t know your partner at all.

Slowly it became apparent that you weren’t such a perfect match as you thought and while a few weeks ago you were certain it was forever, it was over in a few months. Don’t feel bad if this is you; it happens to most people. Don’t over analyze what went wrong or look too deep into it; you just get a mad case of the lust.

2. You Didn’t Know Them

We all try to impress someone we fancy, but sometimes people are so good at it that they can mask their true character. It can take something like moving in together, or a terrible life experience to bring out a person’s real character. When this happens, they can turn out to be an entirely different and not one you can be in a relationship with. It doesn’t have to be in a bad way either, they may just be different to what you believed them to be and now you don’t match up so well.

3. One of You Changed

People are always evolving, and whether it’s an individual or job opening your eyes to a new world or a life experience that alters your perspective, we often become different people while in a relationship. This can mean while you were suited at the start, you may have grown apart, or they’re simply not the right person for where you are in your life. There’s no shame in admitting that they just weren’t right for you anymore, but many people feel guilty about this one.

4. You Wanted Different Things

Marriage, babies and big decisions are usually chalked up to wanting “different things,” but this can apply to more than the just life choice. Whether it’s your social life, interests or even what you’re working on in life, if you don’t have something shared between you then there’s not much common ground to keep you together. It always means one person ends up sacrificing their wishes for the other and this can lead to resentment and imbalance.

5. You Didn’t Work As A Couple

You are deeply in love and can’t bear the thought of being without them, but as a couple, you’re a nightmare. One of you is messy, the other verging on OCD tidy; One naturally jealous, while the other has no sympathy or patience for that type of behavior. Sometimes the “opposites attract” notion does work, and people end up balancing each other out, but in other cases, it’s a disaster. All personalities are different, and under that spark and attraction, you need to be able to get along with your partner, if you don’t, it is almost doomed to failure.

6. Respect Each Other

Sometimes we can get so comfortable in a relationship that we can become disrespectful to the one person we should be treated the best. Whether it’s mocking them in front of others pointing out their flaws or taking advantage of them, as soon as you stop respecting your partner there is going to be trouble. We all lean on our partners, but sometimes it can go too far and without realizing it can we end up treating them like a doormat.

Many people end up doing this without knowing and end up damaging the relationship until it’s irreparable.

7. You Took Each Other for Granted

There’s so much going on in life that we often don’t pay our relationship any attention until it’s too late. Work, family, children or even your hobbies can start taking precedence over them and are the ones you pour your energy into and let your relationship bumble along. This means that spark that first got you together can go out without you realizing and before you know it you’re not so much a couple as just two people who live alongside each other.

Treat your partner like you did when you first got together, going for dates, doing cute things or even just being selfish with your time and putting them before anyone. There’s a reason why you fell for them in the first place – don’t forget it.

8. YOU Stopped Talking

No-one likes talking about their issues, but in the long run addressing them could save your relationship. Letting grievances or problems build up will only cause resentment and frustration as and without discussing it, your problems will only get worse. This can fuel other issues like silly spats or passive aggressive behavior and can end up pushing a wedge between you.

9. You Love Them, But You’re Not in Love With Them

This is a hard one because you love and care for them, but you don’t feel the same about them anymore. You maybe don’t fancy them, or just those feelings that were once so strong have faded away. It’s hard because usually, they’re your best friend, someone you love through and through and the last person in the world you would want to hurt or lose.

If you were given a choice, you would be head over heels in love with them, and perhaps you stayed because you thought those feelings would return. If someone broke up with you, for this reason, don’t be too hard on them. They have as much control over their feelings as anyone and are probably as upset as you, it had to end.

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Featured Image Courtesy: Having Time (www.havingtime.com)