In a world of cruelty and bullying, I have begun to realize the importance of teaching the young girls and women of this world how to successfully navigate without allowing the world to break them. When cruelty is all over social media and the news, it will be so easy for young women to get lost in the chaos.
Someday when I have a daughter of my own, I hope that I am able to help her navigate the craziness of this world with grace and dignity. And I pray that she grows into a strong and independent person who knows exactly what she wants in this world and strives to be the very best version of herself possible.
But how will I go about this? I obviously do not have all of the answers. And, honestly, who does? But what I do know is there are things I can tell her with confidence that will help her as she becomes a woman.
1. You go be that weirdo
In a world of extreme mimicry, it will seem easier to just be like everyone else. While there is some fun in wearing the same clothes as your friends (and as long as their appropriate, I am okay with this), remember to just be yourself. It is okay for you to march to the beat of your own drum. I promise that later in life you will be glad that you did your own thing instead of what everyone else was doing.
2. You are awesome, and don’t listen to anyone who says otherwise
You are amazing and such a unique person. There is going to come a time when other people will attempt to bring you down. These people could possibly be awesome deep down too, but they are likely letting their issues prevent them from being awesome.
It may not make sense to you why they are being mean, but do not let them steal your joy. Do not let them dull your sparkle. Let their words slide off your back and move on with your life.
When this may seem difficult, just remember that you are awesome and that is all that matters.
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3. Work hard and you will be rewarded
As much as dad and I wish we could give you the world, we do not have a money tree in the backyard. But even if we could give you the world, we want to you understand the joy that comes from getting something that you have worked hard for. Like ridiculously hard.
Your dad and I will not be handing you everything you ask for, but I promise we will teach you how to be a hard worker and we will be there every step of the way to support you as you pursue your dreams.
4. Say what you mean, and mean what you say
Fighting with friends or your significant other is super hard, especially in your teenage years. Unfortunately, it is also going to be a big part of your life as you grow and form opinions of your own.
When fighting, choose your words thoughtfully and carefully because they can have lifelong impact on someone. Words said in anger are words that cannot be taken back. Work to be deliberate with your thoughts and your speech for you will spare yourself and others from pain.
5. “No” can and should be in your vocabulary
It took me a long time to figure this one out, but I promise you that it is okay to say “no”.
You can say no to your friends that want to pierce your ears (no thanks – didn’t want any more piercings). To the friend offering you to take a hit of their joint at that party (naw, I’m good, thanks).
To the boy who wants to go a little further and faster than you were expecting. I promise you that you will be glad you said “no” to him too – no matter how absolutely dreamy he is. This is one area of your life that you should be firm in your decisions and he will respect you for holding out for what is good for you.
Also, if I am pushing you to wear something that you’re just not into, it is okay to say “no” to me as well. I just might not want to hear it.
If you are not comfortable with anything, it is perfectly acceptable to say “no”, I promise.
While you might feel it is easier to be a people pleaser, you will find yourself regretting saying “yes” when you should have said “no”. You will go further in life doing things that you want to do, things you value or things that make you happy with your decision.
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6. Beauty is more than the exterior
While everyone is telling you that beauty is only skin deep, they are forgetting that a person is more than your looks. I want you to feel beautiful at all times but if you are becoming an ugly person on the inside, I will not hesitate to step in.
I want you to understand and value people for their beauty on the inside because these people will become lifelong friends and will work to build you up instead of tear you down.
7. Find a boy that makes you feel beautiful
When it comes to love, look for someone that makes you feel beautiful and loved. So often girls look for the love in all the wrong places. Take time to get to know a guy before dating him and know that you should feel cherished by him.
I want you to know that you deserve the kind of great love that you find in the movies and my biggest dream is that you find someone that will love you with the fierceness and joy that you deserve.
8. Your journey is just beginning
While it may seem that your entire will begins and ends with your high school career, but I promise that you are on the cusp of your journey. And when it seems like the world is going to end, remember that you have so many things ahead of you.
Enjoy every moment while you can, don’t dwell on the things you cannot change and always keep moving forward in the present moment, even when it is hard. And when it seems like you cannot keep moving forward, just remember that I will always be there whenever you need me.
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9. Keep trying new things
This may seem to contradict #5, and in some ways it does, but I want you to always continue pushing yourself. Life is going to throw all kinds of different adventures your way and it is important that you keep trying new things.
Push yourself outside of your comfort zone and make it a priority to stay there for as long as you can. Life should be about the experiences and you should never be too afraid to try new things. But also remember to keep your wits about you and make decisions based on what is right for you.
