We all have some unpleasant people in our life that we’d rather not deal with at all. It can be tough to work and communicate with them, but it is important to know how to do it correctly.
This unpleasant person can be your relative, co-worker or your friend’s friend. They can be ignorant, narcissistic, dominant and manipulative. Having a relationship with them can be very painful and damaging for you. They tend to create unnecessary drama and bring a lot of stress into your life.
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So here are 9 tips for handling a toxic and unpleasant person smartly:
1. Don’t trust them
When they gossip to you, they probably gossip about you as well. We tend to trust people, who share secrets with us but don’t forget, it’s not their secrets they are sharing. This is an easy tip, but a lot of people make that mistake and end up in an uncomfortable situation, where they are the bad guy.
2. Set Limits and Boundaries
Do not let them whine and complain endlessly about their “miserable” life. Change the direction of the conversation by asking “how would you fix the situation.” Don’t let them play the victim and feel sorry for them, but try to make them realize that they should be thankful for what they have and not complain about things they can change.
3. Spend Time with The People You Trust
Surround yourself with positive and happy people, who are also loyal to you. People, who help you grow and are happy for your success are the ones who should stay in your life. The different people should go, as soon as possible.
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4. Don’t Take Things Personally
Be prepared, that toxic and manipulative people accuse others, lash out and lie. Don’t be surprised or take it personally, because it is not about you; it is about them. Remember that they are the ones with insecurity and weak minds.
5. Don’t Let Them Hold Others Accountable
Toxic people cannot see any faults in themselves. When they lose their job, it is because their boss did not like them. When they wife left them, it was because she is a bitch, etc. Nothing is ever their fault. You will start seeing a pattern about all the incidences that were not their fault. Don’t let them get away with it and blame others for their mistakes. Tell them to take responsibility for their actions and learn from the errors.
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6. Make Them Give You a Straight Answer
It is very common to talk in circles and change the topic when they want to avoid confrontation. Make them realize, that they cannot get away with this kind of behavior all the time. Ask them “yes or no” questions, so they cannot avoid answering to you.
7. Ignore Narcissists
When they only want to talk about themselves, start talking about yourself. Do not eager them with more question. You can just say you are busy as well or have more important things you have to do. When they say, ‘look how fat I am in this picture,’ they expect you to shower them with praise and consolidation, but don’t. Just stay calm and change the subject.
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8. Control Your Emotions
Don’t let them get to you. Stay active and know when they are trying to make you insecure or bring you down. Manipulative people will do everything in their power to get what they want. This means lying to their close ones and going behind their backs. Stay active and don’t be affected by their behavior.
9. Forgive, But Don’t Forget
Toxic people will be toxic because usually, they do not want to change themselves as they seem perfect to themselves. You can, of course, forgive them their actions, but always keep them in mind when you interact with them. If they have hurt you once, they will probably do it again. Be smarter about it the next time.
Try to surround yourself with positive and healthy people and avoid negativity as much as possible. Negative and toxic individuals can quickly bring you down and make you doubt yourself. This is not healthy nor good. Remember, they have their problems and reasons to act that way and it has nothing to do with you. Be strong and don’t let them affect you in any way.
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