Bottling up emotions can seem like a good idea in the heat of the moment, but it can lead to a lot of trouble.
There are a lot of reasons why people bottle up their emotions. Sometimes it seems easier to keep things inside rather than let your feelings known. If you ignore it, it doesn’t exist, right? Wrong. Say a friend of yours does something that bothers you and you decide not saying anything. Letting it go is a lot easier than a confrontation, but the more you see this person, the more it bothers you, or maybe they commit the transgression again. The anger will build up, and you will eventually break down.
I always thought it was easier to bottle up my emotions, in fact with my anxiety disorder it was a lot easier and put less stress on myself.
For me, it started out, with my parents now understanding how I was feeling. They were controlling, manipulative people and I honestly felt they didn’t deserve to know how I felt or to see me smile.
As I got older, they took my lack of showing emotion as complacency and apathy, which was not even close to the truth. I am, in fact, a compassionate person but without any proof, my parents began to push me until they received an expected reaction.
It was bad, it took my fears and insecurities and multiplied them significantly. Though I have no intention of pandering to my parents, I do allow myself to reflect emotions I know I will feel comfortable with.
I had to retrain myself with the help of a therapist on how to manage my emotions again and how to release them properly. I learned that this would relieve a lot of stress.
Therapy came at a time right before my 16-year-old dog died. The old me wouldn’t have cried and would have tried to ignore my feelings. This time I let them out. When I saw she was dying, I cried openly. My dad told me to shut up and that I was too sensitive. I then realized their desire to shut down every emotional reaction they didn’t want to deal with was incredibly heartbreaking. I started to ignore their demands and judgment.
A year after my dog’s death I can say I honestly grieved the proper way and felt good about everything. It’s not too girly to show how you feel, even for men. Despite my situation, I still got a lot more leeway than other boys do. Men are emotional too, and they deserve an environment where they don’t have to be afraid of expressing themselves.
Remember it’s impossible to change others, so the best course of action is to ignore the criticism and recognize your worth and right to express yourself.
It’s hard to live with constant criticism and not want to retreat back into hiding or old habits. If you’re trying to be more expressive, don’t worry, no need to master every emotion overnight. Just give it a try here and there. When someone does something that upsets you let them know. Take the baby steps.
I believe regulating my emotions made a huge difference. I always thought by staying silent I was remaining in control, but I felt even more in control when I expressed myself.
If you feel something, it’s a valid feeling no matter what anyone says. I don’t care if the average person wouldn’t react the way you want to, it doesn’t mean your feelings are any less valid.
This is also important to enact with people on the other side. Don’t criticize someone who reacts to situations in a different way than you. You can never know why they are behaving that way or what they are thinking. This will help everyone try to understand their feelings and try to be helpful rather than judging.
The most important thing to know is not letting your feelings out can hurt you more in the long run and can also create a lot of confusing turmoil. Be true to yourself and speak out.
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