This should not even be an issue. Whether you are a man or woman, let your weight go.
If you haven’t learned already, society s a place that has some outdated practices, so stop letting people in magazines and your family make you feel bad. It’s hard to accept what you look like if you feel the pressure of everyone around you judging and whispering. I’ve been there, most of us have. Men have it a lot easier than women, the first example being that their clothing sizes are all “normal” and we have to go to a plus section if we gain an inch on our waist, even though the men’s large is the same as the women 3x.
Let’s get the health conversation out of the way. Yes being overweight or underweight can be unhealthy, but so can smoking and drinking and there are thousands of unhealthy people who have an average weight. So stop listening to the baseless claims that those criticising you are doing it because they are worried about your health. They are not. It is a very rare occasion that you will find someone being critical for the reason that they claim to be.
Take all of that judgment and throw it away, you do not need it, no one does. Now, I don’t care what you look like, because you are literally perfect. I don’t need to see you, I know. Now tell yourself that. Keep telling yourself that until you believe it. You are perfect now. If your doctor says you’re healthy, that’s all you need to worry about.
You will still be challenged, it may hurt, but it doesn’t even need to be met with an excuse or explanation. Don’t say, “oh well I’m this way because….” You don’t need to justify yourself to anyone harassing you. Walk away. This will help you a lot, but the most important aspect doesn’t involve anyone but yourself.
You need to realize that no one’s opinion matters but your own. If you like wearing an outfit that everyone says they don’t like on you, guess what? Wear it. I don’t know why people think it’s ok to walk up to someone and criticize their body or clothing choice. It’s as though they feel entitled to do so just for existing. Shut it down. No one has that right to tear you apart.
Weight is a trend, look through your history books. Clearly, everything changes, which means there is not a “right” size. Be yourself and the confidence you build will make you feel amazing and will help other people feel more comfortable in their own skin.
We all need role models, little boys and girls need to see themselves in people walking down the street. Stand up for yourself, and you are standing up for future generations. You are protecting those in the future from the shaming and the disapproving looks.
Now, what happens if you see or hear someone criticizing someone other than yourself. If you are brave enough, I recommend stepping in, whether it’s a senior woman telling a little boy how they aren’t big enough, or a boy telling a girl that she is too fat for him. Step in. Make everyone aware of the transgression that is transpiring. At the very least they will think about their actions for a second longer than they normally would have.
It’s not going to all change overnight. In fact, even if you ignore the naysayers, you still may have a hard time convincing yourself that you should be comfortable. That’s ok. You can master anything overnight. Recognizing your efforts will help you along the way.
In fact, you won’t be able to ignore the criticism from others right away either. Don’t let that get your down, the best method of dealing with any issue is using mindfulness.
Mindfulness is the concept that you pay attention to what’s going on when you might not be able to stop previous habits. It’s recognizing what you’re doing after you choose to change or adapt. For this, you may easily get caught up in the words of others, so when someone is criticizing you try to recognize what they are doing in your head. If you do this, then the struggle will get a little bit easier.
If someone says something and you get upset, and halfway through a good cry you realize that you shouldn’t let them get to you. That’s another step forward.
Getting your feelings hurt is not being weak. It’s a proper reaction to someone criticizing you as a person, but this is the best way to keep yourself feeling good and more and more you will realize that no matter your size, you are beautiful.
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