I Can’t Commit To You Or Our Relationship; Please Understand

There are a lot of people that don’t like committing to a relationship, but they keep doing it. It’s like they keep trying because it’s the normal thing to do as if the status quo is more important than their own happiness.

I think it’s important for everyone to sit themselves down and figure out what they really want. If you know what you want, then it’s a lot easier to find a relationship that you’re comfortable with. If you don’t know what you want, you can unintentionally lead people on or shut down the perfect match. Remember, forget everyone else and determine what YOU want. There are always other factors than yourself to include but for a moment erase them from your mind.

The future is now when it comes to dating options; you can have a friend with benefits, a polyamorous relationship or stay single without a lot of hassle. Though you shouldn’t have to reach for society’s approval, it’s nice for women now that for the most part, we can remain single or unmarried and not be shunned by society. That doesn’t mean there isn’t pressure to do one thing or the other, but it’s a lot easier than it was.

Despite the options sometimes people don’t realize what they want or vocalize it.

My number one dating tip is to determine what you want as soon as possible. This isn’t just a one-time thing, obviously what everyone wants changes throughout their lives. If you can’t accurately vocalize what you want when someone asks you then figure it out.

Once you know what you want, whether it’s straightforward or complicated, let your potential or current significant other.

Sit down for a chill open discussion. No need for heaviness or drama just let the person know where you are and what you want. They may not like what you have to say, but they will appreciate the honesty. No one really hates a meeting where you learn what you have been dying to know anyway. This sit down will let your feelings known, and most likely in return allow your partner/friend to express their feelings. Overall it’s a freeing experience and will keep everyone happy and informed. The reason why most relationships fail l is that there isn’t a clear line of communication.

Being honest about wanting not to commit is very admirable. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You don’t owe anyone your commitment or time.  Also, stand your ground. Don’t let anyone try to persuade you into something you said you didn’t want. I’ve seen men and women coerce their crush into scenarios that make them uncomfortable. Just stop. If the person can’t respect our decision and desire, then they clearly aren’t the right person for you.

Don’t commit if you don’t want to. Though sometimes people say they don’t want to commit and somehow end up committing without realizing it and they like it. Don’t turn something down that you like for the sake of your words. Keep an open mind if you find yourself slipping into a relationship stop for a second and determine what you want again. If you are very sure you don’t want to commit then stop. Just stop. I know it’s hard to turn people down, especially if you are fond of them but it’s better for them in the end.

No one wants to be stuck several years into a one sided relationship.

If you are someone who wants to commit, it’s important to be empathetic. If the person you like doesn’t want to commit it doesn’t mean that they don’t like you or that they would rather fool around with everyone. There are a lot of medical and psychological issues that plague us, and sometimes it’s easier to stay single during the treatment.  I know several people with depression and anxiety that avoid the standard exclusive relationship because of the pressure it puts on them.  Remember it’s all about the individual. They shouldn’t be looking out for you; only you can look out for you.

The key to being happy is knowing what you want and being honest and open about it.

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