Andrea sat down, her head hung low, as she covered her face with her shaking hands. Working 3 jobs day and night while juggling with motherhood as a single parent had been exhausting. Checking her watch, Andrea sprung up to her feet. She was running late to pick up her 5-year-old daughter from daycare.
Just like Andrea, every single parent out there resonates with the same struggles. Battling with societal pressures, financial crises and disturbed sleep patterns summarize single parent problems. Having lost your life partner to a tragic accident or divorce can shape you to become more resilient and strong-headed.
Getting divorced is indeed one of the most difficult phases of your life. But, have you considered the psychological effects of divorce on your children? Being a single parent can be nerve-wracking and we’re here to celebrate and appreciate your earnest efforts.
1. Financial struggles
Every parent strives to provide their child with the best and nothing less. Best education, exposure to all kinds of extra-curricular activities and a stable life at home. However, being the breadwinner of your family, you realize the worth of each penny. All the blood, sweat and tears you had to shed to earn that single penny.
With a kid of your own, it’s hard to refuse their requests and stubborn wishes and you end up giving in. Do you ever feel like no matter how much money you make it’s never going be enough? Don’t worry, here are some smart ways to set financial goals and meet them. Besides in the end, all that matters is having your child by your side and watch them grow.
2. Security
I’m sure all the single moms will agree with me. The constant fear of a possible break-in, being robbed or worse, your child being harmed, stresses you out. And the worse part is most of us won’t have a backup in case you’re far from home at that time. But that doesn’t mean only a man can protect you and your family. Installing a reliable security device back home and carrying a licensed weapon is the way to go!
3. Mental health
A major part of single parent problems is feeling drained. Your days are filled with endless work and constant stress. Even now you must be thinking if you did your laundry or tucked your child in bed. Your mind is always running a marathon and you could only wish for a vacation. But as the famous proverb goes, ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’, you should know when to call it a day. Try meditating at night or hit up a friend to relax.
Along with de-stressing yourself, look out for rebellious and stubborn behavior from your child. Due to losing a parent, your child may be suffering from depression, anxiety and low self-esteem that may result in poor academic record as well as bullying. Take your child to the park or for a stroll whenever possible. Social interaction will give them a sense of hope and confidence.
Read: Want to know how to help your child with behavior problems at school?
4. Meeting expectations
Trust me, I feel you. Meeting everyone’s expectations is impossible. You can’t possibly live the way you want and live up to people’s expectations. And you shouldn’t. Don’t let people and their unrealistic standards get to you! Draft your own definition of life. A life that suits your social and financial status. Many single parent family problems revolve around the despicable race of serving society’s paradigm.
Two-parent families have always been glorified and are visibly favored over single parents. Most probably your child is being bullied at school for having a single parent. But these are the challenges faced by single parents and you have to own up to them. Prepare your child mentally and emotionally. Reassure them that no matter what the world says, the fact that they are your children makes you incredibly proud.
5. Not being enough
Do you ever come home after a long day and feel like you’ve accomplished nothing? Don’t fret it because its normal. The human brain is wired to emphasize more on the negatives than the positives. In fact, by society’s standards you will always be not good enough. So set a benchmark for yourself that you believe you can achieve. Every once in a while, try stepping out of your comfort zone and you’ll notice the growth.
Raising a child on your own is good enough. There might be days where you’ll feel self-doubt for probably not being able to buy your kid what he/she wanted. You might also feel depressed by following the same monotonous routine every day. But that’s okay. Let go of your worries and enjoy your time on holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc. Spend time with your family and friends to celebrate the holiday spirit.
6. Legal concerns
The most common legal concern single parents have is child custody. If you recently got a divorce, you are probably troubled with never-ending court sessions. Even though most mothers get to live with the child, most fathers have the authority to take the child’s life decision. Its best for both parents to have a proper discussion with their lawyers and come up with considerable points they can agree on.
As the father, it’s his duty to provide for the child’s maintenance cost while the mother can take care of other things. Remember that creating a bitter environment or bad-mouthing each other will only affect your child, socially as well as mentally.
On the other hand, taking up all the responsibilities after witnessing your spouse’s death is undeniably very tough and demanding. Feeling disoriented and forlorn may take control of your mind. So, take your time. When you’re ready make sure to get into claiming your properties and retirement funds and even apply for a loan.
Who said it was going to be easy dealing with single parent problems? But what really matters is that you have your family and friends to support you, your children are by your side and you can enjoy life with them.
