I know marriages can be tough. I don’t know this from my own first-hand experience, as I’ve yet to tie the knot, but from the many marriages I’ve witnessed and the countless conversations I’ve had with those who married, I get it.
While marriage is a beautiful union between two people who love each other dearly, I know that many things can complicate the bond that is supposed to be inseverable – this is something that I have witnessed first-hand.
I grew up thinking everything was perfect; I knew nothing else. From my young eyes, my parents spent every waking minute loving each other and the beautiful family they created together – it was idyllic.
But one chilly afternoon in the middle of Fall, I got a call that would change that whole perception. I was just a little girl when it happened, but you felt the need to come clean. This was something that you and my mom had worked through over the years, and in many ways, you did that very well. I would never have suspected that you had betrayed her. I was in shock.
At first, I didn’t know what to believe. Was my entire life up until this point a lie? The true love I thought I was witnessing during my youth was suddenly coming into question. I wasn’t sure what to believe.
All of a sudden, I felt like I had been cheated, duped, everything that I thought was true was forcefully ripped out from underneath my teenage feet. In many ways, I wished that you had never told us the truth of what had happened. I was perfectly happy with what I knew to be the story and had I been given a choice, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to change a thing.
As I’ve grown up and now experienced my relationships, I can see how things can waver. So, in many ways, I admire you coming clean to my sister and I. Instead of sugarcoating the situation, you waited for when we were old enough to understand. This knowledge, although painful, gave me a more realistic impression of what to expect.
And though it all, it gave me the immense gratitude and honor of witnessing all my mother has had to go through, and that no matter what, she always kept it together. I’m thankful that you have both worked it out, and that you remain married. As an adult, I can see how you both might occasionally tiptop around that time of your lives.
I know you regret that choice that you made all those years ago. And I know that if you knew the mistreatment that I have received from men who have betrayed me, you would be up in arms. In many ways, my mother’s strength and tenacity to withstand the struggles is perhaps what has given me the will to try and make my past relationships work. But it has also given me to courage to know when to walk away.
Maybe it’s made me more fearful in some ways, but I think it’s made me stronger. Although I’m angry at your for hurting my mom, I know that anger doesn’t fix anything. So instead, over the years, I’ve done my best for truly forgive you – and I have.
Marriage can be terrible, as I’ve seen first-hand. Luckily, through the years I’ve been able to witness what it took for you to make amends with my mom. I know that I will always do my best, to be honest, and I can only hope that my future spouse will do the same.
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About the Author: Felicia Daly is a native New Yorker with a special interest in music, painting and books! Lots of them. Out to explore every day, Felicia loves to sip on her coffee in a local shop by her house and work as a freelance writer.
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