I Don’t Want to Know You – And Yes, It Is Your Fault

Here I am, living my life. I’m doing the things I’ve always dreamed of – traveling, experiencing new things and expanding my worldview. All the stuff you led me to believe that you wanted, but when it came down to it, never really came to fruition.

I gave up my entire life to be with you. I left the comfort of my home, my friends and family, places I knew and things I loved – and all of you. Sure, I was ready to take the plunge and be with you, and I never resented you for that, but the fact that I sacrificed my world for you and you could barely show up on a daily basis, made my feelings change.

I went from feeling like you were my best friend, my confidant, my other half to barely even know you. I did my best, every day and every night, to please you, but mostly to no avail.

When we first met, things were easy. You drew me into your world, and I fell head first into it. I shared the deepest parts of myself with you. I gave you my heart, my mind, my dedication. I yearned for your approval.

Over time, things began to shift. You started morphing into someone I didn’t recognize.

Sure, we all grow and change. Honestly, after this experience, I’ve realized that if you don’t become and change together, then you might as well call your relationship toast and get out some warm butter to help you swallow it down. But when you’re in the thick of things, you don’t always realize the situation, and its hard to see the bigger picture.

So I dealt with the changes and prayed that we would work it out. I did my best to adapt to the “new you” that I witnessed go through a complete metamorphosis right in front of my eyes. I accepted that you weren’t the person that I met all those years ago. Hell, I’m not the same person either. But one thing on my end didn’t change – I never gave up. You allowed the little cracks in our relationship to grow into giant gaping holes. You took advantage of my kind, caring soul. You drove my spirit into the dirt and made me take the blame. When you grabbed my arms and gave me bruises, I saw the look in your eyes. It was black. Pure darkness. I didn’t recognize you. I had to leave.

And here I am now. Living my life and following my dreams. Sure, I thought you would be in the picture with me, but you’re not, and that’s okay. I’ve learned, loved and lost. I’ve grown into someone I can be proud of. I know that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. Just like when I walked out of your life, I’m now strutting into my future.

I’ve accomplished my goals and concurred my fears. I’ve ventured out into new endeavors which have led to places I never even knew existed. I’ve grown into a strong woman that I am proud of. Someone who isn’t afraid to stand up for what she believes in. I’m ready to face the world and all the obstacles I may face. Even though I gave you my all, you changed into someone I don’t recognize.

And maybe if I’m lucky, you won’t recognize me anymore either.

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Madalyn Tavares

Madalyn is a Florida-born girl who has spent the last four years working and basking in the Caribbean sun. Even though she grew up dancing professionally, she is often called a “bull in a china shop” for her clumsy ways. A true lover of the outdoors and new places, Madalyn is always up for an adventure. She has a vast taste for different types of music, often getting caught dancing wherever she is. Writing has always been a passion for Madalyn, and she’s made it her personal life mission to spread the love through words by detailing the eccentricities, from the unconventional to the mundane, of a 20-something just trying to figure out this life, one adventure at a time.