Do you ever feel out of place for not wanting a constant companion when all of your friends are miserable without one? Do not worry; you are not weird. Being alone is something that the majority of people do not appreciate enough.
Too often do we rely on other people to make us happy or entertain us, being able to be happy and entertain yourself on your own is a very valuable asset. A lot of introverts lean more towards this spectrum since after each interaction they typically need time to recharge alone.
There are tons of reasons that being by yourself is so much better than being with anyone else. For me, it takes the pressure of trying to entertain or occupy someone. It also means I can do whatever I want without thinking about it. This means I can eat what I want and how I want while lying on my bed and watching a show on the internet without being judged for how messy or ridiculous I look. This also means I get to pick the show and I do not have to worry that it is something they do not like or have to suffer through something I do not like.
Who could hate one freedom? I like the ability to do whatever I want whenever I want, and if I change my mind, I can do it instantaneously.
I’m not saying I don’t like hanging out with people at all, a lot of us who prefer being alone still enjoy the company of friends, but we enjoy them differently. Personally, if I am going to do something at my house I want to be alone, but I enjoy going with a group to the mall or a restaurant. People are great for fun and hanging out casually, but I like to be alone when trying to relax.
There are many versions of what I described. There are tons of people that like being alone all the time or that like the company of friends in private but like being alone in public. There are dozens of combinations and none of them are wrong.
People who appreciate their alone time tend to have higher IQ’s and spend a good portion of their time learning or trying new things. This adds to their worth in the workforce and society in general. This aspect points at a productiveness that can’t be reached when with friends unless you both are into learning together. When it comes to people, who like being alone, as in not constantly dating someone are in reality more adjusted people. It’s much better to be content with yourself than relying on another person to make you feel complete.
Nothing is wrong with constantly wanting to be in a relationship, but those who do it obsessively might have an issue with being alone with themselves. For me leaving one relationship and hopping right into another is very exhausting, in fact just thinking about it is exhausting for me. This might go back to the introvert recharge thing, but as I get older the more and more I like to be alone. It’s like that freeing feeling when you break up with someone, but every day.
A lot of people don’t discover themselves or get comfortable with being alone until they get divorced. Divorce is the only really big milestone that a lot of people find themselves alone, and then start enjoying it. If you are young and unmarried and have already reached this milestone, don’t feel bad that not a lot of people understand, be grateful that you found confidence in yourself so quickly through the pain of trauma to lead you there.
It’s hard to tell whether humans are better off alone or with constant contact with others, I doubt there is even an answer, so you should do what is comfortable for you. If someone gives you a hard time about not being married yet, just ask them how they would feel if they were forced to be single their whole life. It puts their’s and your reality in perspective.
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