We spend our lives on social media and see it as a harmless distraction from everyday life, but how many of us consider it a threat to our relationships? Do not underestimate the power social media has to shape and influence your relationships with people and in many cases to cause a breakup. Jealousy, insecurity, and paranoia can all be fueled by the use of social media, and it’s usually nothing to do with what you are posting.
Couples should be on guard if they want their romance to survive the digital age.
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It’s From The Start
When you meet someone new, one of the first things we do is add them to social media. Whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat or all of them, it’s likely that from the start you have an insight not just into what they’re up to now, but a whole history of what they have been doing for the last few years.
This means you don’t have a chance to get to know them without social media getting in the way, which is likely to influence your views on them. It doesn’t seem fair to judge them on a meme they shared three years ago, but whether you like it or not it will shape your opinion of them.
You Know Too Much
Ignorance is bliss when it comes to dating, so having a comprehensive guide to his former relationships are never going to be a good thing. And going forward is it healthy to be able to track your loved one’s movements at all times.
With just a few minutes on his profile you can see sweet messages, they shared with their ex, see they went on romantic holidays together and even read the heartfelt break-up announcement. When you meet someone new, it should be a fresh start for both of you, but social media is like having all your skeletons on show from the outset.
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It Causes Paranoia
It’s not just what they’re up to on social media that causes issues, who they are stalking and interacting with can also be a source of anxiety. His ex-liking a photo, someone attractive you don’t recognize posting on their wall, then suddenly adding a whole host of new people.
When you date someone, you crave their attention and seeing them interact with other possible love interests is going to make you feel insecure and paranoid. Everyone chats and flirts innocently to people they could date if they didn’t already have a partner, but usually, their other half isn’t around to see it. When it comes to social media, it’s up there for all to see.
Distraction
Social media is a distraction, and for couples, that’s not okay. Quality time together should be spent interacting, talking, building intimacy, but now we spend a good chunk of that on our phones. For friendships it’s annoying, but for romantic relationships, it can be incredibly damaging.
If you pay more attention to your phone than them, they can feel rejected or insecure and in many cases, this can lead to reoccurring arguments.
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Insecurity
They are checking in places without you, put a string of photos up on them, and new people you don’t recognize and you hardly get any coverage on their accounts, sound familiar? If you’re with someone and you start disappearing from their social media accounts, it can feel like they’re trying to erase you from their life or are seeking to tell you something.
Even if they dismiss your concerns, it’s hard to believe if you are important to you, they will decide to leave you out of their life online.
Jealousy
Social media and technology have created a new source of jealousy that can ruin relationships. 15 years ago couples didn’t have to deal with social media, but now it has become a huge part of how they interact and a source of insecurity, jealousy, and drama.
Arguments can be sparked by anything – from an ex-liking their new photo, to a comment from someone attractive you don’t know. Perhaps they spend too much time messaging people, or you discover a former flame has got in touch with them via one of their accounts.
No Escape
We have become so heavily invested in social media we don’t seem to notice anymore how strange it is that we spend so much time on it. Hours are spent scrolling through Facebook and Instagram, so it’s not a surprise that you may come across something that sparks drama.
Even if we don’t want to see posts from former flames moving on, or comments we fear could be about us unless we take a break from social media we’re going just to fuel our paranoia and insecurity.
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