You may have an image of an older version of yourself and your partner: walking together, hand in hand, with your kids and grand-kids—a lifetime of togetherness through thick and thin, feeling content and happy with what you have. Growing old together with someone we love is a picture that most of us like to paint in our heads. Sadly, many times, we fail to realize that building a family requires patience, understanding, love, support, and lots of compromises.

Why some couples break apart when things get tough?

When a ship sinks, everyone runs for their lives and jumps off. The same happens in relationships when partners are in it for themselves and are not willing to put in the effort. Nurturing a relationship takes time because you need to cultivate it. But sometimes people are not motivated enough to work for a relationship. They treat it as something that will work itself out.

Even years of marriage can make partners feel like strangers. The strain of work, household chores, and parenting effects relationships until partners realize that they don’t recognize each other anymore. When you don’t know who your partner is and what their interests are, a relationship loses stability and it is bound to come crashing down. The things that undo a relationship are the same things that if practiced lead to a healthy relationship.

There is also poor communication as tensions are always high. A slight remark will break the barrage of emotions and bring forth bitterness and resentment. Compassion and love for one another lack in such type of a relation, where each partner thinks that they are right. There is no empathy where partners are not able to assess a situation from the perspective of their significant other. This raises more problems when both partners are stubborn and refuse to work together.

Such couples may seem to have nothing in common. They never put in the effort to find common interests or at least one of them did but never got the benefit for it.

If you feel like using Xnspy to spy on your partner from time to time, this means that there is a lack of trust. When you are constantly monitoring what your partner is doing, it shows that you suspect them of something.

Unstable relationships also arise from when one partner puts in the effort, does all the work but fails to get recognition. In this case, one partner feels unappreciated and resentment towards the other. This causes the relationship to feel strained.

What’s worse is when the feeling of hatred for one another grows to a point where partners can’t stand each other anymore. This is the point of no return—the final nail in the coffin. And then relationships break apart.

However, there are couples out there who are the opposite of the ones described. They are not perfect, but their intentions are pure. This quality makes them better partners because they learn from their mistakes and strive to do better. reasons why couples should stay together

Reasons why couples should stay together even in difficult times?

These are habits, practices, qualities, whatever you choose to call it, that couples incorporate into their relationship. It makes them stay together and grow as individuals as well as a couple. These are some of the qualities healthy relationships possess and you should work on, too:

Effective communication

The first answer is communication. When you understand what your partner wants, you assess every argument objectively and find your faults. No one is right when emotions are high, anyway.

But the point is that most couples stick it out because they can share aspirations and insecurities without feeling judged. When things get tough, when partners disagree, it is communication that gets people through. And no, yelling at the top of your voice does not mean expressing yourself; it refers to an assertion.

So let’s correct the answer, it is “effective” communication that gets partners through the difficult times and makes them enjoy the good times together. Effective communication involves not only speaking your mind but also understanding your partner. This includes listening to them and understanding their feelings and perspective. Effective communication is two ways, and it also involves you. You should be clear about your feelings with your partner as well.

But apart from this, other things matter, too!

Consistency is the key

Remembering an important date or planning a surprise may seem unimportant in the grand scheme of things. But it matters! Little things matter, too! You need to find time for these little joys in everyday life. Otherwise, it takes out the fun in a relationship. When things are easy, enjoy each other’s company. Look out for each other and take time out from your busy schedule for your significant other. When things get tough, you will look back at these moments.

You need to keep trying even if you feel like things are not working out. If your partner cares for you, they will notice your efforts.

Trust one another

Trust is a fundamental part of every relation, but when it comes to partners, this is where it matters the most. Trust allows your relationship to grow. When things get tough, it is trust which makes you confide in one another. It makes you reach out to one another and solve a problem or issue collectively. You trust your partner to be there for you, and your partner expects the same from you. However, it’s easy to lose trust and but difficult to maintain. This is why you should always be clear with your partner about your intentions.

Find the answer to the problem

Often when couples fight, it is easy to get into the nitty-gritty of what the other person has said. No relationship ever is free of disagreements. But these disagreements should not push you away from your partner. Be the solution and not the reason for the conflict. With this mindset, all of your arguments will feel like mere problem-solving scenarios.

Have compassion and empathy

It is so important to have compassion and empathy for your partner. In the monotony of everyday work, it is easy to lose sight of yourself. We may also feel detached from our partner. But, to maintain a healthy relationship, you need to find ways to reach out to your partner. Small gestures such as helping around the house, doing laundry or talking to them can make your partner’s day. You should strive to make every day a little special by spending quality time together.

Look for the good in your partner

There is no such thing as a perfect partner. Accept it or cry over it. So stop looking for faults and appreciate the good qualities in your partner. Appreciate what they do for you and the effort that they put in the relationship. Overlook the negatives and try to discuss with your partner what things you feel that they should work on. The point should be to help grow and not to belittle one another.

Likewise, you are not perfect. If your partner suggests that should work on yourself, do not take it as a complaint. Take it as advice that your partner wants you to grow as an individual. But, don’t let this get to a point where you are nagging one another about each other’s poor habits.

Find common interests

No two people are the same, and this goes for couples, too. You may have different interests and hobbies. Even then you can have a healthy relationship. You may not enjoy gardening, but this does not mean that you shouldn’t try it. You may even begin to like it. But in cases when you don’t have similar interests, there is nothing wrong with finding new hobbies together. And you may be able to find something in common.

The list is endless. This should give you a good idea about what makes couples stick together through thick and thin. Healthy relationships are not alien to our modern world. These relations exist around us, and the people in such a relationship come from the same world as ours. This means that we can learn a thing or two from them. A healthy relationship is not unattainable. You only have to put in a sincere effort.

Read also: Why happy couples post less about their relationship on social media.