It’s commendable how helpless love can make us feel. It’s like viewing life from a happy-go-lucky filter. Everything seems to be so pleasant when you’re in love. The rain seems so romantic, the wind feels so caressing and life is too good to be true.
Lovely, isn’t it? That’s until you start viewing the demons and storms through those rose-colored glasses, masking every insecurity and wound with an act of love.
You need to know when to take off the glasses before the storms get to you, devastating you beyond repair. You need to know when your compromises are being taken for granted when you’re losing connection. You need to steer clear of the storm before you’re stranded on an island, waiting for someone else to save you.
Remember, one bad relationship experience can affect all your future interactions, so be mindful of these warning signs from your loved ones. Never compromise your sanity and self-respect to save a relationship that is already collapsing.
It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. It’s understandable that it’s not easy letting go of something in which you’ve invested so much of your energy and time. You’re expecting a reciprocation of everything that you’ve put in. But you need to understand when you reciprocate infinity; you get a zero.
Look out for these warning signs in a relationship. Every red flag that you come across is more of a reason for you to get off at the next station and catch a new train.
1. Hesitation
Should I tell him that I got a tattoo or not? Would it be okay if I invite her over for dinner at my place?
If you’re asking yourself these questions, then, my friend, you need to sit down and evaluate. A relationship should never be burdening or exhausting. This is one social interaction that must calm you down and be your salvage.
But if you start hesitating even to confide in your partner, you need to ask yourself this question. Are you happy in this relationship? If you are, why do you feel hesitant? And if you justify your hesitance as being cautious, then are you really not aware of your partner’s likes and dislikes?
2. Avoiding Confrontation
Whether you’re avoiding confrontation to prevent any fights or if you don’t really care, it’s just unhealthy. A relationship is not about being romantic and just labeling each other as mine.
It’s about getting over your differences, talking about the troubles, and still holding each other’s hand till the very end. So if either of you don’t feel the need to discuss your differences, it means you haven’t really connected on a deeper level.
On the other hand, if your confrontations with your partner are repetitive and sour, it is one of the signs that your relationship isn’t working out. Don’t wait around for your partner to tell you that you’re annoying and irritating.
3. Too Much (In)Dependence
Do you sometimes feel that your relationship is one of convenience? If you do, then you’ve probably waited for messages that never came, dates that never happened, and excuses that were made-up.
But each time you disregarded those as giving them space and privacy. Don’t you at least deserve a heart-felt compensation? If your partner feels that you’re too much, then let them have all the space they want. You’ve got enough warning signs from your loved ones.
Similarly, you need to know when your partner just won’t let you breathe. Whether you’re wearing make-up or meeting up with your friends, they’ll have something to say to make their presence known and acknowledged.
Your love for the person often blurs the boundaries of your personal space. They are an important part of your life, not your life. Be clear about your own priorities before obeying every command like a soldier.
4. Fear of the Future
It’s common for new couples to avoid talking about the future. However, after spending considerable time with your partner, it should be a topic that excites both of you. If that’s not the case with your partner, your internal alarm should be beeping like crazy like right now. I bet you’ve silenced it with empty promises of love.
Here’s one of the few significant warning signs in a relationship you shouldn’t avoid. There can be several reasons that intimidate your partner when talking about their future with you.
If it’s “let’s just live in the moment” attitude, you’ve got some serious decisions to make. Nevertheless, if your partner has some hidden insecurities about commitment, you should always give a try to get over it together.
5. Justifying Abusive Behavior
Whenever we hear about people being in an abusive relationship, we generally say, “Why didn’t you just leave him?” Apparently, it’s not as easy as it sounds. The book, “This Ends with Us” by Colleen Hoover explains what it’s like to have an abusive partner you’re in love with.
Just because your partner feels apologetic after the fifth time they verbally or physically abuse you, doesn’t mean they’ve learned their lesson. It’s a vicious cycle that only you can break.
These are probably the last signs that your relationship is not working out. Muster your courage and stand up for yourself. If this relationship is costing you your peace, it’s way too expensive.
Conclusion
The thing about a relationship is that it’s a two-way road. It’s a bond that two people share. So before you start blaming the other person for not being there, for cheating on you, for criticizing you, you should be a hundred percent sure that you’ve given your best.
Be sure that you’re not the toxic one in the relationship. There’s nothing that a bit of love and affection can’t fix. But never ignore these warning signs in a relationship.
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